:: e r i k :: g i l c h r i s t ::

41.2 Seconds

41.2 Seconds
or
41.2 Seconds

Funny.

The NRA Won't Take Me.

An Open leter to the NRA.

Dustin Hoffman published a nice one.

I had my own idea of a letter. Read on.

Dear Mr. Robinson,

I recently learned that your organization's website includes a list of "Anti-Gun Individuals & Celebrities" who have spoken out for anti-gun legislation and provided "a voice for anti-gun organizations."

As a supporter of comprehensive gun safety measures, I was deeply disappointed when I discovered that my name was not on this list.

I was particularly surprised by the omission given my opposition to the loophole that makes it legal for 18- to 20-year-olds to buy handguns at gun shows and unlicensed sellers and my firm belief that child safety locks be provided with every handgun sold.

Now as the Federal Assault Weapons Ban nears expiration and a bill granting sweeping immunity to gun manufacturers approaches the Senate floor, I am requesting that you or the appropriate person on your staff add my name to the list as soon as possible.

Thank you in advance for correcting this oversight.

Erik Adds:
While I may not be a celebrity (I truly am a legend in my own mind) and I think you are a war-mongering murderous tangent of a human biological form, I must protest to not being on your list. You should be fucking horribly ashamed.

You Sir, are no Mr. Colt. And I respect neither of you in this new millenium. Actually Mr. Colt in this day and age does not have freaking automatic weapons. Funny that.

But I would really like to test out any spraying weapon you have. I have a female pit-bull (my attack dog) but she wont play how I want. I'd like to use the dog as target practice (or just to get her accustomed to rapid automatic gun fire) when my four-year old is not looking. Do you have a quiet gun?

And speaking of my four year old daughter. She will be starting Kindergarden (kindergarten, however you freaking US white supremacist Nazi fuckers want to spell it nowadays) and I am not sure if I want to send her out in a world where guns are so prevalent without her own weapon. Not some big honking rifle cause it won't fit in her backpack you silly dolt. But come on. I want to see her packing at least a Glock with at least 15 in the clip and one in the chamber. Who knows how finger painting can go.

And about home security, how about a nice grenade launcher. That might satiate my desire to be totally legal. Just spray lead all over whoever walks up to my house or (this is just theoritical) just pump the living shit out of an SUV that is not mine that parks in front or my house. After all, I have freedom of "curb", right?

I'd like a brochure. We love Gun magazines.

Sincerely,
Erik Gilchrist
Husband and Father

Win a Ford Explorer and a Free Vacation

A pal let me know about an opportunity. You don't need to be local to NJ to qualify. That is the best. It is an 800 number. Just say you know how to get to the claim facility!

Call 1.800.236.6988 and you'll get a phone prompt system. What you want to do is answer with a claim of NJ101. And if that is expired, just go with it. It is an information process. Practice. Keep calling back. You think it's hurting the phone system, nah. But it will cost this scammer money for the 800 number hits.

Now, don't be afraid. It won't hurt. It is a scam. Why yes, a good old telemarketing scam.

But I am here to help. As always, I just love scam busting. Read on for more.

Meet Gary U. Llible. I'll play Gary tonight.

He called and was wooed by the thought of the new gas-guzzler. Hell, I'd love a free car! Once you call in, things change.

I actually got a voice on the other end. Damn, and my pal were playing a joke with me. OK, so I commit without giving out anything. I can play along.

What they want is simply an email address (go get a yahoo one) or a fax number. I have a fax number but I did not want to give it to them. If you have a big-heartless-corporate fax number, hell, give them that. I made up an email and I (as a pissy admin) created a new email just for them. I get lucky as I have the benefit of having a mail server at my disposal and I can create accounts in a heartbeat. A yahoo account will work just fine.

So after wasting time of the scammers I finally get asked how I can be sent confirmation. I explain that I have to check with Gladys. She's my fictional wife. I create Llible, Gary, U as a username on one site I have mail server access to. Piece it together now.

GuLlible@PeopleWhoPissMeOff.com

The scammer almost shit his pants. I heard laughter, audible inhales of disbelief. I had to put the guy on hold because it was so funny to go 20 minutes and now he gets this email address (which for now is valid!).

I was rushed off the phone after that but not before I was put over to the reservation guy, albeit not unlike the closing guy at a high-pressure car dealer. And boy, did that wanker want me off the phone quick. But I slowed him down.

True fun.

You have the number. You have the code. You have contingent instructions. MAKE THE CALL!

We'll get 'em.

Wrong number, text message HELL

Damn, somebody (973 xxx-5972) called me tonight, and I was incredibly nice:

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Click.

Very nicely done as Irene was annoyed as I interrupted a conversation we were having to answer an unknown call.

I get no voice mail figuring the connection in my SOHO is just a bit off.

It seems now I have my own personal plaything. I call back. Silly voice mail. I left a minute of iTunes output. The retalliation is now an SMS silly game. hehe.

Let me just say that Bluetooth and my SonyEricsson and my G4 is so set up to text message. Plus all the other geek tools to play the game. :)

Expansions Cost Real Money

OK, so here we go. The money plea.

Donate if ya want. Ya might never know what you can get via a donation to the 'cause. We are trying to improve service via Hardware upgrades.

And I'll leave it at that.